Mock The Vote: OTSG To Elect Leader of the Freewheel World

Today, OTSG is doing its part to overwhelm its readers with even more decisions to make.  I have taken the time to nominate some of our own “citizens” to compete for the highest office of our land: Leader of the Freewheel World.  Below you will find three photos, and below each photo you will see a list of facts about the candidate and where they stand on the issues that affect all OTS. Sorry if I left your particular party or candidate out, but feel free to write them in.  Cog Bless America!


Blue Bike


  • The first Front Freewheel System to seriously contend for Leader of the Freewheel World
  • Known to let extreme urban fixed gear freestylers hang out in his living room.
  • Older and crappier OTSs find his mustache bars and fenders to be elitist and suspiciously polished.
  • Has spent most of his career on the local level—errand running, recreational riding and organizing fund raising rides—has limited open road and long haul touring experience.
  • Promises free air and presta converters for all OTS.


Red Bike


  • Has lost appeal with newer OTS over the past 8 years by becoming progressively more old and crappy.
  • Questions the Blue Bike’s relationship with radical fixed gear freestylers, but is known to has been involved * with some of these same fringe tricksters.
  • Brings the same old bottomed out seat and maxed out stem policy in a world that is quickly raising seats and lowering stems.
  • Has extensive experience in long haul touring and has been randonneuring for a quarter century.
  • Promises tax credits for the purchase of air, but doesn’t cover presta converters.


Green Bike


  • Proposes fiercely mandated bar wrap, brake pad and tire recycling.
  • Promises subsidies for homemade bike trailers and cat litter panniers *.
  • Promises tax breaks to recumbents which could undermine the over taxed OTS crowd.
  • A long shot, fringe candidate, some feel a vote for this bike is a vote against the Blue Bike.

The above post is for entertainment only.  OTSG and its editors do not endorse any candidate or party.  We do, however, encourage our readers to go exercise their right to VOTE!